It’s been a while since I’ve been to a baby group but I was reminded of them when I saw my pregnant sister-in-law yesterday. After my first was born a friend told me about a local “Moms and Babies” group. It took me a while to get there. He was about 4 months old and I wished I had gone sooner. For the most part it was all new moms with babies right around the same age. I went to 2 a week for months and it was the best thing I could have done. New moms tend to get isolated because of all the work of having a new baby. Baby groups are a way to get out of the house and talk to other moms who are going through some of the exact same things.

I felt so alone after having my first child. I felt like my old life was gone and a lot of my old friends weren’t really around much. It’s a life-changing event, having a child, and sometimes it’s very hard to adjust to it. Just knowing other people are going through the same things you are is comforting. In some ways it makes it easier, like you’re not alone. We would talk about everything from baby gear to breastfeeding to husbands to labor and delivery. Our Moms and Babies group was held at a local preschool and we had many resources right at our fingertips. If the leader didn’t know the answer to one of our questions she would find out and get us literature on it.

Like I said, ours was through a preschool and it was easily found on their website. You also may be able to ask at your OB’s office, search online activities for your community or check with your church. There are so many resources out there for parents that are underutilized and they are free! The boys and I went to a playdate this morning at a friend’s house and we all used to go the Moms and Babies group. Three of us now have two kids each. I never knew these women before having children but they’ve become close friends since our unsure days of being new moms.

Our oldest is almost 2 1/2 and I honestly thought we might skip what’s commonly known as the terrible twos. Unfortunately it’s crept up on us over the past 2 weeks. He’s always been pretty good-natured but he also has his head in the clouds. I’ve always had to physically stop him from doing things and he’s already pretty good at tuning us out. Lately it’s taken quite a different turn though. The temper tantrums have begun and the NOs have become even louder. I know it’s a phase that he has to go through to assert his independence but wow, it takes a lot out of you! Patience, patience, patience is what I keep having to remind myself day after day. I can’t say I don’t lose my cool, because unfortunately I do sometimes. I’m working at it because I know kids respond better to calm, rational parents. It can just be so hard when you’re in the midst of it.

We’re working on different strategies right now to work around his newfound moods. We already do time-outs and are sticking with them. We’ve also started not doing things if he repeatedly doesn’t listen. Last week he missed out on a playground trip and going out in the boat. I don’t know if he gets it yet but hopefully he will soon. I talk to him after and ask him why we didn’t do such-and-such and he responds with listen. That tells me that he knows he didn’t listen. I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday who has a son his age and is going through the same thing. She said they’ve started doing a sticker chart and it’s actually working. I had thought of that before but didn’t if he was old enough for it. Looks like we’re off to the store this afternoon for a big sticker run! Hopefully it’s not a long phase!!

It’s amazing how many things are recalled each month. I never paid any attention to it until I had kids. For the past year or so I’ve gone on the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) website about once a week. It’s very easy to use. You can either look through the recalls by month, product type, company, product description, hazard or country of manufacture. You can also search for a specific item. I usually go through them by months now as I’ve already checked most of our things. The listings are great, telling you everything you need to know about the recalled product. It also shows a picture of the product so you can easily tell if it’s the one you own.

It’s amazing to me that more people don’t regularly check the CPSC website for recalls. I guess I was never one to do it before I had kids though, so I can’t really blame them. We’ve already had 2 of our 3 car seats recalled and had them fixed. We also found our toaster on there but it had a different date on it, therefore different model. I’ve even gone so far as to look back about 5 years in the kids toy section. We’ve gotten so many things as hand-me-downs and at yard sales that I just wanted to check them. I figure better safe than sorry!

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prerel.html

I finally switched my cleaning products to all natural ones a few months ago. It’s amazing how well most of them work! I was skeptical going into it but found a wonderful line of products called Method. I first found them at the grocery store and later found more products on their website. What really first drew me to them was the packaging. I’m a sucker for things that look nice, even if they are just cleaning products. They offer great scents that aren’t overpowering. The greatest thing is when you look at the ingredients you recognize them…it’s natural. I haven’t used a product of theirs that I don’t love.

It’s funny because I didn’t notice a difference until I cleaned someone else’s house and used the toxic stuff again. That afternoon I was just off. My throat hurt, my head hurt and I was just spacey. That’s enough proof to me that I’m definitely sticking to my natural cleaners! It’s amazing the things that are in our homes that are supposed to kill germs, bacteria, blah, blah, blah but they end up attacking our bodies. One thing I learned from the Method website was that most people have antibacterial soap to kill bacteria and not get us sick but it’s the viruses that make us sick for the most part. Never quite thought about that until I watched the little video they have on their site. It’s definitely worth a watch. It’s called “10 Ways to Detox.”

http://www.methodhome.com/

My oldest is 2 yrs 5 mo and has been in Early Intervention for speech for the past year and a half. In some states it’s called Birth-3. At 9 months he was assessed through Early Intervention at the request of his doctor. It showed that he was at a 5 month level for speech. He never babbled or imitated and had pretty severe reflux. Most other areas were fine but he was pretty far behind at that point. They started coming to the house every week to work with him. The beginning was slow-going, not making leaps and bounds with progress, but that is expected. He slowly started making progress. He started babbling, then saying more and more words. It was a long process and took a lot of work but he eventually started to catch up. Six months ago at his evaluation he was just about at age level but they kept him in the program on clinical judgement.

The two ladies who worked with him are just amazing! Not only did they help him tremendously with his speech but they helped me identify and brainstorm other problems he was having. In his first 2 years of life he’s had reflux, a speech delay, milk intolerance, ear infections that lead to ear tubes, a feeding problem (over-stuffing), an egg white allergy, sleep apnea. They’ve been great sounding boards and have helped TREMENDOUSLY! I truly don’t feel like his speech would be where it is now if not for them. I also don’t think I would have investigated as much stuff in the area of his health had it not been for them. Sometimes I felt like the over-paranoid mom that was always thinking something was wrong with her kid but they helped me realize I wasn’t just being crazy, that there were some things going on with him. For that I am eternally thankful to these two wonderful ladies!

Anyway, at his reassessment a few weeks ago we had figured it was our last but what we didn’t realize was how well he would score. He was at age or above in every area! That was truly amazing! I can’t say enough about getting help as early as possible. It’s SO much easier for children to catch up if the problem or delay is caught early. If there’s anyone out there that even has an inkling that something may not be quite on par with their child, call Early Intervention, or your equivalent. Everyone is eligible to have their child tested. They may not find anything and your mind will be eased or they may find one or more areas and they will work diligently with you and your family to help resolve them.

I also want to talk about the stigma that is placed on delays and “problems” in areas of development. I know some people want to close their eyes to this sort of thing and go the route of not knowing. Every parent wants to have the perfect child without any sort of “disability” but knowing about it is power. The more you know the easier it is to fix or overcome. It is also greatly known that the earlier any sort of issue is caught the greater the chance that it can be reversed or at least greatly diminished. Don’t close your eyes to your child’s health and development. Learn all you can and face it full on. It’s the best way to give your child the best start in life possible.

My oldest started with a fever and cough last Tuesday. He woke up in the middle of the night and threw up on me, not the first time and I’m sure not the last. I got some Tylenol in him and cooled him down. He went back to sleep but I barely slept because he had a febrile seizure last fall and I’m ALWAYS paranoid when he gets a fever now. We caught it just in time one night last week. He was acting really weird, arms flailing, head bobbing, eyes rolling a bit. We put a lukewarm washcloth on his neck and within a minute he snapped out of it. Over last week his cough got worse, fevers finally subsided but his sleep apnea flared up. He has large tonsils, so now whenever he’s sick they swell and he gets apnea. Let me tell you it’s not fun at all watching your child continually stop breathing all night. I ended up sleeping in his room for a few nights.

Just as my oldest seemed to be getting a tiny bit better, my youngest started with a fever. Then the next day he got a mild case of croup. I was so afraid it was going to get worse, thankfully it didn’t really. Over last winter both boys went to the hospital with breathing trouble related to croup and bronchiolitis. He finally started feeling a little better this morning, thank goodness!! I am PRAYING we all get some sleep tonight. It’s been a very long week!

It’s the middle of summer and one thing I do not waver on is sun protection. Both my husband and I and now our kids are very fair-skinned. I have been burned plenty in my life and know I’ve already done damage to my skin. I’m vowing to keep my kids white, white, white. The boys never go out to play without sunblock and hats. We actually just bought new UPF 50+ sun hats for the whole family, which means they block 98% of UVA/UVB rays. I ordered them from Coolibar and they are great!! The boys’ hats are reversible and very light weight.

Another thing I just discovered is the Huggies Little Swimmers Sun Sensors. A few came free on packages of Huggies swim diapers. They are little stickers with designs on them that detect UVB rays. All you do is put them on your child in an area that is in constant sun. We usually put them on one of their hats. When the designs fade and the sticker turns from yellow to deep orange it’s time to reapply sunblock or head indoors. This is extremely helpful, especially when we go out on the boat. There’s no guessing-game anymore, just watch the sticker!!

I am a married mother of two young boys. My first was born in March of 2006 and my second in August of 2007. They are 16 months apart and let me tell you it’s already been a crazy ride. Everyone has told me, with kids this close in age, just get through the first year and it’ll get much easier. We are quickly approaching our youngest’s first birthday, about 2 weeks away! It is getting easier in some ways and more challenging in others.

I am not a new mommy nor a seasoned veteran. I am learning everyday. I make mistakes and I do try to learn from them, though at times I am a repeat-offender. I am buying more organic food but they still get things like chicken nuggets in the microwave and processed crackers. I let them watch tv but strictly PBS. I try to be patient but it doesn’t always work. They take reflux medication and sometimes I forget to give it to them. I guess what I’m getting at is I have the best intentions and I try to do my best for them everyday but I’m not perfect. I’m a mom. I’m learning and trying and changing.